How Do Affairs Happen?

Having an Affair - Morally Wrong?

A great many people have a mostly secret affair despite being in a relationship or marriage. In other words, they meet up regularly with another person to be intimate with them. Is this morally wrong, or has it become perfectly normal by now? And how do partners react when they get wind of it? One thing is clear: cheating is never exactly classy and, in the long run, it is an enormous breach of trust. This is especially true when it happens in secret. On the other hand, there are exceptions, for example when a marriage or relationship has become purely platonic and there is no sexual connection left. The same goes for the people having the affair. For some it is just an ego trip, for others a sexual outlet from the rut of their own sex life. Whether that deserves moral condemnation is in the eye of the beholder.

Having an Affair - Just Sex or Something More?

It is not uncommon for what began as purely "physical" fun outside the relationship to gradually turn into real feelings, until you fall in love with your affair partner. Women in particular are more at risk here, since they tend to act more on an emotional level than men, who often find it easier to separate sex from feelings. Of course, that does not apply to everyone equally and cannot be generalized. Still, everyone who is having an affair should be aware that at some point a line may be reached where love and physical pleasure can no longer be clearly told apart. Personal feelings, followed by love, are never ruled out and can show up at any time. Planned or not. But then, what in life can ever be planned completely?

Having an Affair - When Things Get Out of Hand

An affair doesn't always follow a set schedule or personal wishes, and it is often not nearly as uncomplicated as you first assumed. Incidents like blackmail, emotional chaos, jealousy, pressure and other drama are all too common. And suddenly you are at a very tricky point where both sides need to speak plainly. On the one hand, you have to keep up the "successful" cover-up; on the other, you now also have to fully live up to your lover's expectations so that they don't get any silly ideas. Like secretly informing the wife or husband, in the hope of finally having the lover all to themselves...

Having an affair doesn't always mean uncomplicated fun outside your own relationship. Every "cheater" should be aware that, alongside the happy little rendezvous, serious consequences can follow that may knock your life completely off course overnight...